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Archive for October, 2009

BATON ROUGE — On Monday, the Southeastern Conference announced its television selections for the weekend of Oct. 24. LSU will play host to Auburn at 6:30 p.m. CT on either ESPN or ESPN2.

ESPN and ESPN2 will make their selections between Auburn at LSU and Florida at Mississippi State following the Oct. 17 games.  Both of these games will keep the 6:30 p.m. CT game time regardless of network.

No. 10 LSU (5-1, 3-1 SEC) has a bye week on Oct. 17. Auburn faces Kentucky on Saturday.

SEC Football Television Schedule – Oct. 24, 2009
SEC Network: 11:21 a.m. CT, Arkansas at Ole Miss
CBS Sports: 2:30 p.m. CT, Tennessee at Alabama
ESPNU: 6 p.m. CT, Vanderbilt at South Carolina
FSN: 6 p.m. CT, Louisiana Monroe at Kentucky
ESPN: 6:30 p.m. CT, Auburn at LSU or Florida at Mississippi State
ESPN2: 6:30 p.m. CT, Auburn at LSU or Florida at Mississippi State

LSU v Florida Prediction – 2009

LSU v Florida – Saturday, Oct 10th (600p, ESPN): ** Cut to scene where Florida Gators Head Coach Urban Meyer and QB Tim Tebow are in the drive-thru at Cane’s after Saturday night’s game…

Buford T Meyer: Give me a Diablo sammich, and a Dr. Pepper…make it quick, I’m in a god-damn hurry…you want something, Timmy?

Tim Tebow: Hushpuppies, Daddy!

BTM: We got no time for that crap! (mutters under his breath) dumb sumbitch!

Cane’s: Uh, sir, this is a chicken finger restaurant…we don’t have a Diablo Sandwich…

TT: DADDY, THAT RADIO TALKED!!

BTM: (turns to Timmy) Shut yo ass…

TT: (answers his toy cellphone) Hellooooo?

BTM: (turns to speaker) I am Coach Urban Meyer of the Florida Gators, and want a guddang DIABLO SAMMICH!!

Cane’s: The fact that you are Coach Meyer is not germane to the situation…

BTM: The god damn Germans got NUTHIN TO DO WITH IT!!

TT: Helloooo? (tapping BTM on shoulder) Daddy…Daddy…Daddy…

BTM: (Still yelling at speaker) Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Coach Urban Meyer look like a possum’s pecker…

TT: …Daddy…I got a headache…

BTM: (turns to Timmy) There’s no way, NO WAY, that you coulda came from MY loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I’m gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth! (turns back to speaker and slaps it) Now THAT’S an attention-getter…do what I say you pile a’ monkey nuts!

Coach Bandit Miles: (Walks up to Timmy’s window) Are we having a problem here?

TT: DADDY!! (answers toy cell-phone) Helloooo?

BTM: (startled) Whoa…you sounded smaller on da radio!

Miles: How about you and your boy here run along and stop causing trouble…ok?

TT: (points at Miles) How bout you run up to Boston, and bring back some clam chowder for me and my daddy?

Miles: Hey Timmy…looky here at what I got! (cups both hands)

TT: (giggling, leans in to see) Whatisitwhatisitwhatisit?

Miles: (slaps Timmy on the back of the head) Dumb sumbitch…

BTM: (shouting at Miles) I saw that, you sumbitch! You did that on purpose! You’re going away till you’re gray! I got the evidence! Timmy, put da evidence in da car…

TT: But Daddy, I’m already in the…

BTM: PUT DA EV-I-DENCE IN DA CAR!! (turns to Miles) I’m gonna barbeque yo’ ass in molasses! (points) You got trouble comin’…BIG trouble! My name is Urban Meyer and I’m fixin’ to start tail grabbin’ your ass right now!

Miles: Before I tell you where to stick that finger, Coach, there’s just one thing I wanna say. You must be part coon dog, ’cause I’ve been chased by the best of them, and son, you make ‘em look like they’re all runnin’ in slow motion. I just wanna say that…

BTM: Well, thank you, Mr. Coach Miles. And as the pursuer, may I say you’re the guddangenest pursuee I’ve ever pursued. Now that the mutual bullshit is over, I’m…

TT: (hands Meyer his toy cellphone) Wanna call for backup?

Miles: You better go home now…don’t go to eat, don’t go to Slinky’s…and don’t play with yourself. It wouldn’t look nice on my campus. (begins to turn away, then returns) now, you can THINK about it… but doooon’t do it! (walks away, whistling the LSU Fight Song)

BTM: (starts to pull out of drive-thru, muttering) What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the Gators. Timmy, if you’re gonna hang out in places like this, wear a badge on your didee…

TT: My hat blew off, daddy.

BTM: I hope your goddamn head was in it.

**End scene**

LSU – 27 UF – 21

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Looks like LSU fans have Florida’s number — again.

Backup quarterback John Brantley said Monday night he has received “quite a few” taunting text messages from numbers he does not recognize.

Florida coach Urban Meyer, offensive coordinator Steve Addazio and receiver Riley Cooper have also been getting extra calls and texts this week, apparently from LSU fans trying to get in their ears — or heads — before Saturday night’s game between top-ranked Florida and No. 4 LSU.

“They haven’t been bad,” said Brantley, in line to start Saturday if Tim Tebow can’t because of a concussion. “It’s just a little annoying.”

Tebow had similar issues two years ago before Florida’s 28-24 loss in Baton Rouge. He received hundreds of messages leading up to the game. Tebow responded by pretending to dial a phone after a touchdown pass in the second quarter.

Tebow’s number appears safe this time around.

Some of his teammates are hoping to stay clear, too.

“They didn’t get me,” cornerback Joe Haden said. “It’s pretty bad, though. They had my boy Coop. They got him pretty good. I was chilling with Coop and he was just laughing about it.”

Brantley said none of the messages he received included death threats. He has read or listened to most of them, then deleted them just in time for more to show up. It’s gotten so bad that he might consider getting a new number.

How is he dealing with the calls and texts?

“I just ignore, put it down,” he said.

So how are all the numbers getting out?

“I have no idea,” Haden said.
Copyright 2009 by The Associated Press