LSU v Bama – Saturday, Nov 5th 700P (CBS): Despite the slobbering love affair that most pundits have for Bama HC Saban and his hair, none could deny the powerful display of speed and power exhibited by the top-ranked LSU Tigers as they methodically dismantled Saint Nick and his #2 Crimson Tide in front of a stunned Bryant-Denny crowd tonight. Lou Holtz wetly sputtered that tonight’s contest showcased “the most extraordinary collection of coaching talent, knowledge, and football acumen that has ever strode upon grass–with the possible exception of when Nick Saban dines alone.” However, much to the chagrin of the mighty national press, college football games are still played by players and players alone. Tiger QB Lee once again had the start and quietly turned in a 13-of-21, 243 yard performance punctuated by 2 TD tosses to WRs Beckham and Shepard…in comparison, backup QB Jefferson loudly rushed for 74 yards and a late 2nd qtr TD. The LSU defense was the 800lb, chainsaw-wielding gorilla on the field whose relentless pursuit of Bama QB McCarron garnered 5 sacks, 8 hurries, and 1 fumble recovered by LSU to stop a key 3rd qtr drive…run stoppage was equally on display, ultimately crushing the lungs of Bama’s vaunted RB Richardson as he was held to just 87 yards on 24 carries. The X-factor for Bama was special teams…their 1st qtr kickoff and 3rd qtr punt returns for TDs added some drama but proved to be trivial as the Tide simply failed to cage the rampaging LSU Tigers.
An appletini and Cialis-fueled Trev Albert was arrested once again, after crashing the Thursday night meeting of the Tuscaloosa Republican Women and imperiously defending his thesis on how the Tuscaloosa Dumpling is a twist on the classic Cherokee Chin-Strap followed by a Montgomery Monkey Tail, topped off with a Gravy Chaser.
LSU – 31 Bama – 20