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LSU v Miss St – Saturday, Sept 18 600P (ESPNU) :

Ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise? You did, in fact, if you witnessed any part of tonight’s contest, as #15 LSU slogged through their Death Valley opener against the woeful Miss St Bulldogs.

“I’m proud of the effort our team played with,” second-year Bulldog HC Mullen said, briefly choking on a fresh corndog and his own words. “They never stopped believing. We had every opportunity to win that ballgame.” MSU QB Relf finished the day 12-26 for 110 yards and a TD toss, while RB Bumphis paced a pedestrian ground attack with 77 yards on 13 carries.

LSU QB Jefferson was given the start but benched after two-straight 3-and-out possessions…backup Lee performed well, striking the endzone once while going 15-27 for 169 yards. Tiger All-World Shepard again carried the game with 2 scoring runs of 48 and 39 yards. LSU HC Miles continued his struggles…he opened the post-game presser by blaming his clock management buffoonery on passion for the game, and attributed a late-game call for a fourth stoppage to an official “mistaking the wiping off of Skittle stains for a dang timeout signal!”

Lee Corso, disoriented by advancing age and a cheerleader’s wardrobe malfunction, mouth-kisses Herbstreit on-air after mistakenly donning his backup toupe’ instead of a mascot head.

LSU – 24 MSU – 10



LSU v UNC – 2010 Kickoff Prediction

LSU vs UNC – Georgia Dome Saturday, Sept 4th 800P (ABC)

What happens when a beer-soaked Pig-Pickin’ from Charlotte meets a bourbon-tinged Boucherie from Franklin? One very greasy tailgate party, for starters…AND the 2010 Chick-Fil-A Kickoff between the #18 North Carolina Tarheels and the #21 LSU Tigers. The Georgia Dome was packed to the rafters with loud football-loving Southerners, with a distinct crowd advantage to the LSU side. Amidst a growing NCAA investigation, Tarheel HC Davis nonetheless fielded a rowdy and talented football team. Led by junior QB Yates, the NC offense had the vaunted Tiger defense on its heels for most of the first half.
Scoring throws from Yates to TE Pianalto and WR Little helped the Tarheels go to the locker room at half with a 17-3 lead. LSU HC Miles, hot-seated and deep into a Skittle-buzz, purportedly invoked George Patton, Genghis Khan, Elvis, Neil Patrick Harris, Han Solo, Flounder from Animal House, David Hasselhoff, and a Faustian pact with Snooki during his epic halftime speech. The Tiger defense, fueled by confusion and rage, led a second-half rally by recovering a Yates fumble on the opening possession and then sacking him 4 more times…DT Nevis described pressuring Yates as, “like shooting a fish in a barrel, a screaming, cursing, lumbering fish with stank-breath.” LSU QB Jefferson did little to silence critics but managed the Crowton offense well, going 13-20 for 193 yards and 1 TD, while the gameball was given to Tiger RB Murphy…his 154 yards and 2 TDs capped off a grinding but effective LSU performance. Newly-svelte Hanagriff presented Jordy Hultberg with the Trev Albert Lifetime Achievement Award for his many years of on-field blustery and year-round tanning regimen.

LSU – 31 UNC – 24

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